Lack of apology for schoolboy ‘banter’ speaks volumes about Nigel Farage | Letters
When a public figure responds with denial instead of a ‘sorry’, we should heed what that tells us, Anthony Richards. Plus letters from other readers on how being bullied at...
By Guardian Staff · The Guardian Opinion
When a public figure responds with denial instead of a ‘sorry’, we should heed what that tells us, Anthony Richards . Plus letters from other readers on how being bullied at school affected them their whole life Peter Ettedgui’s account of the antisemitic taunts he endured as a teenager ( Don’t believe Nigel Farage’s denials. He targeted me for being Jewish – and it hurt, 25 November ) reminded me of a simple truth about bullying: the bullied remember far more clearly than the bullies ever do. That’s how trauma works. The moment lodges for one person, yet barely registers for the other. So yes, forgetting is plausible. But failing to apologise when you’re reminded is revealing. “Sorry” is a measure of character or, at the very least, the mark of basic human decency. Earlier this year, I came across someone who had bullied me at school. I’d had a drop or two, so I asked if he remembered reducing me to tears. He didn’t – why would he? But he did manage: “If I did that, I’m really sorry.” And that mattered. It closed a circle I hadn’t realised was still open. A small word, offered without defensiveness, made all the difference. Continue reading...